I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
