I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
