I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
