OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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