I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
