Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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