we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
