What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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