so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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