Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
