But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
