Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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