apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
