What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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