butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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