yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
