Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize