If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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