He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
