The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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