she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
