Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
