At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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