Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
