his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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