two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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