I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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