At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i need some magic done to my vagina
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
