conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
