I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
