I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
