Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
