I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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