He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
