I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
