after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
