ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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