he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
