how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
