I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
