I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
