so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
