Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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