Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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