I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
