Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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