I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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