I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
