i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just want to make out with him forever
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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