Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
