How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
